Taking A Step Towards Life
by Ms. BellaBoo
Summary: How can I still love him? After everything he has done to me? He shattered my heart and put me through hell. He's gone…. I healing, or at least learning to cope with myself. It's time to do things I was scared of doing before. It is time to start trying to live. Normal pairings. Rated M for chapters to come.
1. Prologue

**Twilight=Not Mine**

How can I still love him? After everything he has done to me? He shattered my heart and put me through hell. He's gone…. I healing, or at least learning to cope with myself. It's time to do things I was scared of doing before. It is time to start trying to live.

**I hoped you like the prologue? I guess you could call it that. I hope you will enjoy the story to come.**

**Love,**

**Bella Boo**


	2. Beginnings

**Twilight=Not Mine**

I was staring at the same wall for the past week now. The tears have been delayed at least until tonight. I miss Edward so much. I have learnt to accept the pain when I hear his name. It is like a gun to my heart but it's like I pulled the trigger. Life I guess, full of pain and disappointment. I scraped my caucus off my bed and took the sheets to the washer. I also took off my raunchy clothes there and put them in the washer. I secured a towel across my body and then made my way to clean myself off. Time to get myself back out into the world and live again. At least attempt to live again.

The water felt great like it washing away some of the hurt, or grunge. Grunge is probably the right answer. I got out and dried myself off. Time to get ready for the day. I lied, time to put on sweats and go shopping. Shocking I know people, but it is time for change. I promised Charlie I would try in life, now I am going to start finally. I got in my truck and started to drive to Port Angeles. I began to think as always.

I missed Charlie. He died last year, he was one of my rocks. After he died he continued to take care of me. I inherited everything, even all of grandma swans money. I was literally set for life. That fact does not make up for that Charlie is gone. Sigh. I pulled up to the mall parking lot. I did the whole feel better slash new person montage, that which got me a hell of a lot of stuff. Last stop of the day, hairdresser. I just had her put some gold streaks through my hair, which look amazing. I got home and passed out onto my bed. Looks like tomorrow, my first day back since the Cullens left is all set. Let hell continue.

**Sorry this was so boring and short guys. I promise the next chapter will be much more interesting. Stay faithful in this if you wish. Feedback is appreciated.**

**With love and where is this story going?.**

**Bella Boo**


	3. Miss Always Invisible

**Twilight=Not Mine Also the Songs Included=Not Mine Also Credit to Marie Digby and Jillian Jensen in this chapter for their amazing musical skills.**

My eyes fluttered open and I looked at the ceiling. After what seemed like forever I rolled to my side and looked at my clock. It read 3 am, shit I still have awhile till school rolled around. I might as well get up and start my new way of living. I took a shower, straightened my hair pin straight, then I put a blue bandana in my hair like a headband. I got dressed in a t-shirt, leather looking skirt, and ankle leather boots. I had smoky eye makeup and red lipstick. I looked at the clock, it read 5 am. I still had time, so I went to my piano and continued to work on the lyrics to the song I was working on. Ever since they left I have been trying to live, therefore I am finally letting my song out. Maybe it will work out maybe it won't only time will tell on this one. I started to sing from the chorus, and then onto the verse I was currently working on.

"I start again and whatever pain may come. Today this ends. I'm forgiving what I've done. I'll face myself, to cross out what I've become. Erase myself, and let go of what I've done. What I've done. "

I sang the song over and over till I felt comfortable with it. I saved the lyrics on my laptop, along with the recording of the piano to it. I refuse to record my own voice, for the fact of I don't know, just a feeling. It was now time to go to Forks High. Cue the fake happiness. I hoped into my midnight blue Audi, yes I got a better car deal with it, and I was off. I stepped out into the open, breathed the fresh air and made my way into the school. Faces looked at me, but I did not care one bit. It seemed like everyone was ignoring me. I continued on to my classes. Lauren was glaring, again like I cared. At lunch it was one of those rare nice days so I went over to the bleachers and sat by myself because well apparently I'm a virus now.

My lunch was going swimmingly, until I went and dumped my food. Lauren came up with her posse behind her. Jessica and Angela were there but looked like they didn't like what was about to go down. Here comes the fun all, let's see what happens. I really need to see a therapist, my inner monologues scare me sometimes. I'm narrating my own life, I don't think that's normal. There I go again, and again. I shut my inner self up and turned my attention to Lauren and the others.

"Hey all, here is miss invisible." Lauren snarled.

"What do you want, I don't want any trouble." I said.

"Stop trying to fit in with those clothes, we all know you're a know nothing who drove away the hottest guy in school." She continued to "joke" around. I started to walk to my next class. They followed me for awhile. I turned around.

"Don't you have anything better to do?"

"Actually yes, but I just wanted you to know that no one will ever care for you. You drive every one away with your ugly face and boring life. The hell even Jessica looks better than you. Edward didn't want you, he never did it was all just a game to him. You were just his little pet to play with until he got bored. How does it feel to be thrown away like the trash you are?" Lauren sneered.

"You don't know anything. That's not true." I quivered a little bit, tears starting to form. Lauren grabbed my bag and rummaged through it. She pulled out my lyric book. I tried to grab it.

"Give it back Lauren!"

"Oh, you want to be a singer and songwriter, now do you? Well an ugly talentless loser like you will never succeed. I mean look at these lyrics, they suck. Just give up and work at fast food restaurant already. That's all you are good for anyway. Instead of trying to sing, maybe you should just start practicing the line you will say for the rest of your life, Hello may I take your order?" Lauren then proceeded to throw my backpack down the stairwell. I went to walk down after it and she tripped me at the last second. As I was falling I covered my face but hit my side. It hurt like hell. Lauren threw my lyric notebook in my face.

"Hey miss invisible, have a horrible life." Lauren proceeded then to walk away with her posse. Jessica and Angela looked back with hurt expressions. I just looked away so they wouldn't see the tears. I gathered my stuff and walked to my music class that I switched out for the study hall I had. Since I was new to the class I had to perform a song, whether it was original or someone else's song. I asked Mrs. Richards if I could have a little time so I could write an original and she said go on right ahead. So that brings me to the library where I am right now thinking. I don't want to use my new song because that is for the "gig" tonight, therefore completely new song from scratch. Come on Bella think, think. I opened my notebook, cleared my mind, and let out whatever came.

'There's a girl who sits under the bleachers just another day eating alone. And though she smiles there is something she's hiding and she can't find a way to relate. She just goes unnoticed as the crowd passes by. And she'll pretend to be busy when inside she just wants to cry…'

I had a tune in my head and hurried to one of the schools music rooms to see how this sounded. I set up my phone to record which I usually don't do but I had ideas in my head on my way there and I needed to get them down while I had the tune still in my head. I started with the piano and let what come, come.

'There's a girl who sits under the bleachers just another day eating alone. And though she smiles there is something she's hiding and she can't find a way to relate. She just goes unnoticed as the crowd passes by. And she'll pretend to be busy when inside she just wants to cry…

And she'll say take a little look at the life of miss always invisible. Look a little closer, I really really want to put yourself in her shoes. Take another look at the face of miss always invisible. Look a little harder and maybe then you will see why she waits for the day when you'll ask her her name.'

I closed the song there not wanting to go any further for now. I looked up and was shocked to see someone standing there. I was even more shocked to see who it was.

"Alice?" I whispered. She looked at me, and then sprang. She left me there stunned at seeing her. Maybe it was just a hallucination. Yeah that's probably it. I went through my song for tonight. The rest of the day was more of boring school and being ignored. My mind though couldn't stay off the fact that I thought I saw Alice. I tried to shake it off while I drove home to get changed. I hoped out and got changed as fast as I could. I changed into thigh high brown leather boots, blue jeans, and a Three Days Grace tee shirt. I grabbed my packed piano and loaded into my car and was on my way to Port Angeles. I got to the place and went to go in with my stuff. I got stamped under 21 and was point to behind the curtains. I paid the manager the fee and got ready for my song. Apparently this is a contest tonight. Added pressure on cue. Deep breathes Bella. I looked out from behind the curtain, there are a lot of people. Deep breathes. The manager cued me to go on. I was the last one up. I took a final deep breathe. It was now or never. I hoped never came but went to the stage anyway.

"Hello everyone, my name is Bella and I'm going to sing a song for you. I guess you already knew that though since this is a singing competition." I got a couple of laughs. I looked at the crowd and saw Alice. I blinked a couple of times. She gave me the thumbs up. My mind was numb and my head was spinning. I had to continue though.

"This is an original song I wrote, obviously since it's an original, called What I've Done. It is about starting over, forgiving yourself. I regret things I have done in the past and am now facing it. I want to live again. This song is the first step. I hope you like it." I played the first few notes and forgot everything that was going on around me and just put my emotion into the song. **(AN: If you want to hear the song, I will post the link on my profile.)** On my last note, I opened my eyes and saw everyone clapping. I was awestruck for a little bit. I got off the stage and went back behind the curtains. Alice was there I started to go to her but then I heard the finalists being called, I listened.

"The final finalist and winner of this round is Isabella Swan. Let's hear it for her." I went out onto the stage.

"So our winner, will you perform one more song for us to close the night?" The manager asked.

"I will, if that's what you want." The crowd clapped while I got set up and the other contestants moved off the stage.

"This song is about how one little mistake haunts you, and how you try to cope with life. It is truly okay not to be okay." I started to play and sing out loosing myself in the lyrics. **(An: This will be also on the profile.)**

'I stare at my reflection in the mirror. Why am I doing this to myself? I'm losing my mind on a tiny error. I nearly left the real me on the self. No, no, no, no, no. Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars. Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing. It's okay not to be okay. Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart. Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising. Be true to who you are. Who you are. Who you are. Who you are. Who you are. No, no, no, no, no, oh. Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars. Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing. It's okay not to be okay. Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart. Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising. Be true to who you are."

I was slightly tearful. Okay let's be honest I was in tears. Everybody was speechless. I went behind the curtain and to the bathroom and cried. I was crying for awhile over Edward, Alice, okay the whole situation of what happened, my brain over thinking. I heard someone knock on the door.

"Bella?"

It was Alice.

**Duh Duh Duh! Cliff hanger a little bit. Let me know what you think, or how this story is going. I have to say I was a bit emotional writing this, adding the music while writing this definitely is a difference in mood. Feedback is appreciated. I will update soon. I love you all! I hope that's not creepy .**

**Love always and emotions,**

**Bella Boo**


	4. Worsened Us All

I opened the bathroom door and came to the face of Alice. I was still blubbering and stuttering like a fool. I couldn't even make out a simple sentence but she knew. Alice just pulled me into a hug and let me ruin her shirt with my tears. Alice kept saying everything will turn out alright which made part of me feel better for the obvious reasons. It took awhile but I finally stopped crying and calmed down enough to the point where I could talk.

"What are you doing here? I thought you left me here for well forever."

"I couldn't take it anymore, everyone has been miserable we couldn't even be in the same house because of the depression. Edward misses you Bella. I missed my best friend. Bella you are what keeps this family content." Alice simply stated.

"How do I know this is true? You could just throw me in the trash like nothing again when you get bored of me. I don't want to be your family's toy anymore."

"Bella you were never a toy. Edward convinced us that it would be best for your safety if we all left. I am realizing that this was far from the truth. Being apart worsens all of us. I couldn't stand being away from my best friend any longer. I needed to come back."

"What about Jasper?" I asked because I am definitely no better than her mate.

"He will be returning soon also. It will be just us for now until we can convince that the outcome of every one coming back is best. They are being naïve Bella. Edward wants you, he wants to come back, and he still loves you."

"Alice, you say that but how do I know that's the truth? Edward will have to prove that for himself and gain my trust back if that is the truth."

"I understand completely. I have a question though, how did I not see you singing? I mean that future aspect is blocked from me for some reason."

"I think it is the same reason Edward can't read my thoughts." I said because well I honestly did not know.

From that point I got my stuff together and packed it into my Audi. Alice got in her car and followed me to my house for a "sleep over". Obviously I would be the only one sleeping. We got there fairly quick and I went into my room and well passed out because I still had school the next day and it was past midnight. I am guessing Alice did whatever Alice does.

**I am so sorry this was so short. I also have to apologize for the delay in publication. I'm letting you down, but I promise to try and do better.**

**Please don't hate me,**

**Bella Boo**


	5. Sound Not Matching Image Shortness

**Twilight = Not Mine**

I woke up and saw two eyes staring back at me. I jumped and screamed, it was Alice. So I wasn't imagining last night, I began to laugh at my foolishness. I pushed Alice playfully and moved my way over to my closet. I picked out a Pewdiepie t-shirt I made myself, hold the applause, with slits all down the back. It was black and on the front was Pewdiepie brofisting. I had to admit I was a bit of gamer, and loved his gamer videos. I paired that with white jeans and my black ankle boots. I took a shower and got dressed, hurrying down to Alice. She insisted on doing my hair and makeup while I ate breakfast. Hey less work for me. She did gold eyeliner with black eye shadow and a touch of mascara. I added a dab of lip gloss for flavor. She straightened my hair and accessorized it with a white and black skulled bandana like a headband. She knew my new style so well. I finished eating and we were off to school in my Audi.

"Do you know what classes you are going to take?" I asked.

"Of course, everyone you're taking silly! I wouldn't want my best friend to be alone."

"I truly love you Alice."

"I know" She said with a grin.

We got to the school and headed to the office. Once Alice got her schedule we went to class. Everything was fine and dandy until we got to lunch. Alice and I sat at a corner table. Lauren came over with her posse. This should be just delightful.

"How much to you bribe for this Cullen to come back?" Lauren sneered. I just smiled at her not letting her know how much she was annoying me. Alice decided to pipe in.

"She didn't do anything, unlike you she doesn't have to pay her friends."

"Was I speaking to you? No. I was talking to her, don't think just because she is back, you are off the hook."

I just looked at her till she went away. Alice looked at me, I just shrugged. There was nothing Lauren could do that would hurt me more than Edward being away does. Alice and I went to the rest of our classes and went back to my house and chit chatted.

"Bella, you know your look does not match your sound."

"I know Alice. I need to go a bit more hardcore but I also love the acoustic stuff, not all amped."

"How about you try an amped up song?"

"For what?" I asked curiously.

"The finals silly!"

"I don't know Alice, I don't want to be judged on just one choice."

"Nonsense, I will get the details of the contest and you start writing that song even if you don't perform it."

"Alright Alice, but you have to leave. No offense but I just need my alone, processing time."

"No problem hunk, I have to get the place ready for Jasper anyway."

"I'll see you tomorrow Alice."

"Righty oh, old chap." Alice said in a British accent. I laughed as she left. Time to write, I suppose.

**Sorry this was short. I just wanted to do a quick update before I started a longer chapter. This gives a little lee room and lo down sort of. I promise the next chapter will be better. Writers honor.**

**With love and shortness for the moment,**

**Bella Boo**


	6. Face The Music

**Twilight=Not Mine All songs linked on profile **

**Credit to Avril Lavigne, ****Katy McAllister, and Lea Michelle for being amazing emotional vocalists.**

The finals were in about a week and I still have no idea on what to do, wear, sing or anything. I am an absolute mess even with Alice and Jasper here. I decided that it would be good to leave my house for a bit and visit the Cullen house that only occupied two Cullens. On my way all I could think about was Edward and how much I missed him. Why couldn't I have been better for him? Am I not meant to be loved? I don't know but I think that I will again try to forget, but we all know that will never happen. I pulled up into the driveway and pulled out my guitar to bring with me in case I had got any inspiration. I walked up the steps and into the house because Alice told me I could just enter when I got here. I heard Alice yelling at someone through the phone. Jasper was just shaking his head.

"Want to know what, just because all of you are miserable doesn't mean we have to be! We missed Bella. She makes our life complete. Just because you are too moody to get over yourself and don't want to face her doesn't mean anything." Alice paused waiting for a response and continued. "She misses you and loves you still even after what you did. Edward, you say you never stopped loving her. If that is the truth stop making her suffer. I mean it is just hurting the both of you. Man up. I'll call you later, bye." With that Alice hung up.

"Alice was that Edward?"

"Yes, I'm sorry Bella." She came over to give me a hug.

"It's alright Alice. I am fine. I just am freaking out over the finals. Please tell me you got something."

"Alright Bella Boo, I certainly have some news for you. You will have to sing three original songs. I would suggest something that matches your image but with emotion behind it. Oh, or we could change your image."

"Breathe pixie, I think I just need a touch up on my hair, maybe even bangs. Then I will put three songs together somehow. As for my image, I will just do me Alice."

"Bangs sound fantastic I see it now, you will look fabulous."

"Jasper did you give Alice extra energy juice?"

"Why no miss Bella, that's here natural self."

"Well just making sure she isn't on some hyper animal blood. I mean we don't want her to have an attention span of a squirrel."

I looked at Jasper and we started laughing while Alice pouted. I went over and hugged Alice. She hugged me back. Glad to know she is not mad at me. We went to the hairdresser and had my hair done. It looked amazing as Alice predicted. I got home and started to work on my songs. My mind wandered to Edward. Is it really true what Alice had said to him on the phone? Did he still love me? I had no idea but my three songs were going to be about Edward and I. This is because I can't get him out of my head and the emotional state I am in will help I think to write songs.

The lines came to me and I was surprised at the ease. I just wish he could hear how I felt but I know that would never happen. A couple days passed and the competition would be in just two days. I was nervous because I still didn't complete my set. I finished off writing the songs and was soon off to bed because of school. The night was filled with tears but I haven't had a tearless night since Edward left. I got up the next morning and considered just staying away from the school because it was a rare sunny day but then decided it would not be a good idea to have thinking time to myself. I got dressed in simple jeans and a t-shirt with my hair in a pony tail. I got at the school and dragged my carcass to class. I sat under the bleachers at lunch. As if predicted Lauren came up to me. Big shock, not.

"Aw is wittle Bewwa awll awone." Lauren sneered.

"What do you want?"

"I told you I wasn't done with you and since your little bodyguards aren't here I can finally take care of you."

"That wouldn't be wise Lauren. You might break a nail."

"That is it Swan."

She then proceeded to tackle me and punch me in the face then the stomach. Ouch this hurt. Well do something about it dummy. I pushed her off me. She stumbled and went for another round. I dodged her and ran off towards my class. Violence was not the answer. I would not hurt Lauren, I kept chanting this to myself. I got to the stairs when someone pushed me. Again it was Lauren, well she caught up fast. I stumbled down the stairs. I felt bruises forming all over and I just laid there not wanting to move. Lauren laughed and ran off to her class. I stayed were I was in my own pain and pity. When the coast was clear Alice got me and brought me back to my house and laid me in my bed.

"Why didn't you fight back?"

"Violence isn't the answer Alice, beside I deserved it."

"How the hell did you deserve that?" She sounded outraged.

"Well I drove Edward away with my stupidity and wrong doing. It was the universe giving Edward justice."

"That is not true Bella at all. Just wait till he hears from me. He is an idiot for doing this." Alice ranted.

"Alice stop, it hurts when you talk about Edward like that."

"Oh I'm sorry Bella. I should let you rest for the competition in two days. Do you think you would be better to do it?"

"Of course, it is my dream. I wouldn't miss it for anything."

Alice left then and I soon drifted to sleep.

For the next two days I basically lounged in bed all day not wanting to move. I also did not want to go to school so I took time off. I played my songs over and over again for Alice to get practice. Each time I think I got more and more emotional. Alice said she thought I would do well, but she had no idea what the outcome would be for a change. I now lay awake, nervous about tomorrow. What if I choke? How about if the others just laugh at me? Doubts kept coming through my head. Before I drifted to sleep my thoughts went to what I thought Edward would think about me if he saw me now. Probably not much.

I got up in the morning still sore from the confrontation with Lauren. I jumped in the shower and the hot water felt amazing. I wrapped a towel around my body and hair. I went to my room and Alice was there waiting. She must have got here while I was in the shower. I had picked my outfit the night before. Alice approved, which slightly surprised me. I put on a red high low skirt, a lace half white tank top, red feather earrings, two red bracelets, and red high heels with little silver spikes on the back. **(link to outfit on profile) **

I was indecisive on whether to have my hair straight or curled, I decided to have Alice do slight curls in my hair so it was wavy and had a slight curl effect. My makeup was simple just some light eye shadow and a little mascara. I grabbed my guitar and put it into my Audi. Alice looked slightly over happy.

"Alice, why are you almost jumping up and down?"

"Oh, no reason I just can't wait for you to see…. I mean I can't wait to you compete. Yes that's it!"

"If you say so, I best get going on my way. I will see you and Jasper there."

I gave Alice a hug and was on my way. I started to wonder why she messed up like that. Who would I see if she really meant I was going to see someone? I shook it off. I got to the place where I was competing and went to the manager to see when I was set to go. I was set to go last, added pressure seeing all the other competitors go before me. The results from the contest wouldn't be known for a couple of days even after I competed. More added reason to kill my nerves. I took calming breathes. I went through my set in my head. The competition was good. I was soon cued to go on stage. Deep breathe. I got onto the stage, sat on the seat in front of the microphone.

I looked to find Alice and Japer I saw them and smiled. Before I spoke, I saw a pair of familiar eyes. The eyes that I missed looking into were staring into mine. The person who caused my pain instantly made me feel complete just by being in the room. He betrayed you and yet you still love him. He doesn't love you. I had to go on through, this competition would be proof that I could live but also show him what I felt. I finally looked away from Edward and started to speak.

"How are you all doing?" I got a few answers but my voice was shaky. Control I told myself.

"This first song I will sing for you is about my one and only love. He left me broken and I thought life was over. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. I just wish he would come back and love me as much as he led me to believe but for real. This song is called Slipped Away."

"Na na, na na na, na na. I miss you, miss you so bad. I don't forget you, oh it's so sad. I hope you can hear me. I remember it clearly." I looked at Edward, and a tear threatened to form. I looked away.

"The day you slipped away Was the day I found it won't be the same Oh Na na na na na na na I didn't get around to kiss you Goodbye on the hand I wish that I could see you again I know that I can't Oh I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly The day you slipped away Was the day I found it won't be the same Oh"

"I had my wake up Won't you wake up I keep asking why And I can't take it, It wasn't fake  
It happened, you passed by" I was thinking about when he left me in the woods, the traitor tear fell. I forced my voice a little next so the next part would sound like I was attempting to yell. It was really a cover up for my sadness.

"Now you are gone, now you are gone There you go, there you go Somewhere I can't bring you back Now you are gone, now you are gone There you go, there you go, Somewhere you're not coming back The day you slipped away Was the day I found it won't be the same no.. The day you slipped away was the day that I found it won't be the same oh... Na na, na na na, na na I miss you"

I ended the song and my emotion was defiantly intact with the song. The crowd was speechless, I had no idea if that was good or not. I forced myself not to look at Edward. I couldn't take the rejection or the pity for being as pathetic as I am from him. I swallowed hard once and began to address the crowd for my next song.

"The next song is about what I imagine would happen if he ever came back. I never believed it would happen but that didn't mean my mind never went to thinking about it. This song is called Take Me Away."

"You're beautiful. it's nice to see I wasn't looking for anyone to be with me. Didn't think you would leave this place for so long. I forgot about your brooding stare. So much to talk about but you sit there and don't have much to say. When you were far away I planned for this day. And now I can't think of what I was gonna say. You sit across from me and I can't seem to think straight. I can't remember how it got this way. Should be holding it together but you take me away. And my breath is far from steady. Can you see it on my face? Don't have to say much to me till I'm ready to up and run away. Don't know what you even do but I'm dying to just be around you. So take me away for tonight cause I know you'll be leaving soon anyway, anyway."

"Entertain my thoughts. You're like a fantasy leaving my stomach in knots. You're within my reach but seem untouchable. It's like I'm trapped in a movie scene. And I'm the one who's too damn obvious. You're a mystery and I wasn't born to mind-read." I thought that bit of irony worked well in the song.

"You're the one who's blessed with perfection. I'm the hot mess not easy, just easy to read." This was also true. He was perfect and I am just an open book.

"Take me away. And my breath is far from steady. Can you see it on my face? Don't have to say much to me till I'm ready to up and run away. Don't know what you even do but I'm dying to just be around you. So take me away for tonight cause I know you'll be leaving soon anyway, anyway." I began the little instrumental part. I looked up at Edward as I began to sing the next part. I sort of was soft like I was partially out of breath but I wasn't.

"Take me away. And my breath is far from steady. Can you see it on my face? Don't have to say much to me till I'm ready to up and run away." I then began to pick up the part faster.

"Don't know what you even do but I'm dying to just be around you. So take me away for tonight cause I know you'll be leaving soon anyway, anyway. You'll be leaving soon anyway, anyway."

I finished and the crowd was released from whatever daze they were in from the last song. They clapped, which I was surprised by. Edward just kept staring at me. I looked over at Alice next and she looked worried. She mouthed I'm sorry. Alice knew Edward would come. This was just great. I'm basically playing my heart out for someone who doesn't feel the same. Pathetic ex, population me.

"My last song is about how I tried my best to make everyone happy. I tried to fix my mistakes but ceased to get them right. I always fail to make anything better. This song is appropriately titled Get It Right. Thank you for listening." I switched to play piano.

"What have I done? Wish I could run away from this ship going under. Just trying to help, hurt everyone else now I feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders. What can you do when your good isn't good enough and all that you touch tumbles down? Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things I just wanna fix it somehow. But how many times will it take Oh how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?" A couple tears came from my eyes but I did not care, I just kept singing.

"Can I start again with my faith shaken? Cause I can't go back and undo this I just have to stay and face my mistakes. But if I get stronger and wiser I'll get through this. What can you do when your good isn't good enough and all that you touch tumbles down? Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things I just wanna fix it somehow. But how many times will it take Oh how many times will it take for me to get it right, to get it right?"

"So I throw up my fist, throw a punch in the air and accept the truth that sometimes life isn't fair. Yeah I'll send out a wish yeah I'll send up a prayer and finally someone will see how much I care." I held that note for a little while and continued with the chorus.

"All that you touch tumbles down. Oh my best intentions keep making a mess of things. Just wanna fix it somehow. But how many times will it take? Oh, how many times will it take to get it right, to get it right?"

The crowd began to clap. I was surprised though when everyone started stand, even the judges. A couple tears rolled down my cheek at the combination of everything that happened since I got here. I ran to the back and looked for a closet. I could still here everyone clapping. I found a closet and went into it. I hoped no one would find me as I broke down. I don't want to ever leave this closet. I don't want to face judgment, I don't want to face Edward. I'm just pathetic to him and tonight proved it. I put my heart out there and as soon as I come out I will be laughed at by him. I continued my pity party. Tears continued to come down my face. Alice and Jasper kept trying to call me and text me. I ignored it all. Could I disappear?

I was in the corner of the closet when the door opened. I looked up with tears streaming down my face. He sat down and pulled me in. I cried into his chest ruining his shirt. He just soothed me by rubbing circles into my back. The familiar scent overtook me. I continued crying and didn't care that I looked like a complete mess. I was a blubbering fool in his arms. Pathetic, I just proved myself right. I looked up at him as he looked back.

"I'm so sorry, I ruined your shirt. I'll leave now. You probably have something else that is way more important than I am. I am truly sorry..." I choked his name out. "..Edward."

"Bella don't go. The shirt is not important. You shouldn't be saying sorry, I should. I was completely out of line by leaving. I know that doesn't take away the damage. Will you please let me explain my ways? I understand if you don't but I love you and I never stopped." Edward sounded desperate.

"I don't know if that's the truth but you can come back to my place I suppose. I will hear you out. I am pathetic though I don't know why you would want to waste your time on me."

"You are worth my time, I will prove it. I… could I ride back with you."

"Sure, I don't see why not."

This trip home would be interesting. Edward found a back way to exit so I wouldn't have to face people. I was still crying. Stupid emotions. We got in the car and we were off. I could barely concentrate on the road. I barely made it home. Now was time for explanations. Deep breathes.

**Taa Daa! I hope you guys liked it. Let me know what you think in the comments. The music makes it a lot more emotional. It was quite a trip writing this. I'll update soon.**

**With love and tears,**

**Bella Boo**


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